


The Farmer's Virgin Trope

by Ahcutiemonster



Series: Cloud 9 Alternate Universes [2]
Category: Crisis Core: Final Fantasy VII, Final Fantasy VII (Video Game 1997), Final Fantasy VII Remake (Video Game 2020), Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children
Genre: F/M, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-29
Updated: 2020-07-07
Packaged: 2021-03-04 03:20:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,908
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24976747
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ahcutiemonster/pseuds/Ahcutiemonster
Summary: Vincent rescue's his son Sephiroth before Shinra can grab a hold of him. He makes his way to an old friends home in Nibelheim who ends up housing other children who would have fallen victim to Shinra. These kids grow up to be Shinra's downfall.{ I don't write the nasty for  I am a coward but if you would like to write something  based off this story please feel free to! The M is for language and themes more so than anything else!)
Relationships: Angeal Hewley/Genesis Rhapsodos, Sephiroth/Cloud Strife, Zack Fair/Angeal Hewley/Genesis Rhapsodos/Sephiroth/Cloud Strife, Zack Fair/Cloud Strife
Series: Cloud 9 Alternate Universes [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1807876
Comments: 4
Kudos: 77





	1. Toddler years

Vincent squated down and ruffled his child's hair before asking him if he was alright in Wutai. 

Vincent had been hiding himself and especially his son since faking their deaths three years ago. As far as Shinra knows , Lucretia had a still born due to the mako testing on her womb and Vincent killed himself from grief. 

He'd like to keep it that way. 

But he'd also like to give his child a safe home. Moving around like this isn't good for him. 

Sephiroth muttered out a small and tired "Hai" before nodding. 

He clearly wasn't but Vincent can't yell at him since one that would only make the situation worse and two, he clearly got this from Vincent's gene's in the first place. 

"Well we are almost there okay? Just one more hour." Vincent said in Wutai before picking the three year old up. 

Sephiroth was always about being a " big boy" and never really liked admitting when he was sleepy or hungry. His father just had to learn or guess based off of his own behavior when it came to his needs. 

They continued their walk in the shadows. With the wind howling and snow hitting against clothes in what felt like an almost targeted attack. Sephiroth was safely tucked into Vincent's cloak and was trying his best not to fall asleep. 

Finally Vincent saw the town sign and picked up speed. No longer worried about conserving energy or stressing out the baby by moving too fast. 

He finally made it to the house he's been practically dreaming of and knocked on the door. Purposely standing in the shadows so the neighbors couldn't see. 

The door swung open and Vincent quickly made his way in. 

A loud squeal was heard before his baby was suddenly in the arms of one of his old friends. 

Claudia Strife. Didi for short. 

Didi and another woman by the name of Vivi or Violet were foreginers who modeled for a teen magazine in Wutai when they were younger. 

They also may or may not had been apart of a secret organization against Shinra. 

Her husband Caelum Strife was someone he knew since they were children. He wasn't Wutai but was adopted by a Wutai family and a child indigenous to what is left of Nibelheim adopted my a Wutain family was quite the spectacle. So he never really fit in. But fortunately Vincent never looked down on indigenous people from anywhere nonetheless a historical place like Nibelheim. He had long dark brown hair and was usually a more olive tone but due to the winter he was completely pale. 

Speaking of Caelum he was trying his best to control his wife from scaring the sliverette haffu that is Vincent's son. 

Didi was currently snuggling Sephiroth as hard as she could, smooshing their faces together while squealing about how " he looks just like his father" and how "cute his big grumpy cheeks are".

Vincent was actually pretty amused at his son desperately trying to be polite while also desperately trying to get away from the random crazy blonde woman holding him hostage. 

But alas, he should probably save him, and he was going to until he heard little grunts and "oofs" and soft little thumps every few seconds. He looked over to see a little blonde baby, in a baby blue onesie trying their best to make it down the stairs. The baby finally put his last little foot on the ground after crawling down the steps backwards. They went to stand but then quickly fell, only to then frown and get back up again. The baby's hair was a messy nest of spikey hair and his onesie had baby chocobos with diapers on all over them. The baby had also managed to bring down a matching blanket. 

He waddled over with a pout and frowned at his mother. "Who dat?" He said with a point. 

Didi finally put Sephiroth down. "Cloud , this our friend's baby Sephiroth, he'll be staying us for a while with his daddy Vincent." She said pointing up at the tall man. " Remember when mama said she got a letter from a friend?" 

Cloud frowned in thought and then quickly waddled away. Leaving Sephiroth clearly confused as he looked up at his father silently asking what the hell was going on. Cloud waddled back with a plushie in his hand of a moogle dressed up in a kimono. He shoved it at the other baby. 

"You have this one, no touch the chobobo." Cloud then waddled over to his father demanding to be carried back upstairs because "stairs are work". 

Caelum sighed and picked up his little divo muttering about how procreating with Didi, the ultimate diva, was a mistake. 

Didi hit him with a broom that magically appeared and told him to go tuck in Cloud. 

"Are you guys hungry? I can make you something to eat before you go to bed! Something light." Didi said that like she was asking but really she already started cooking and Vincent knew better than to argue. 

Caelum came back down minutes later holding fresh clothes for both Vincent and Sephiroth. They went ahead and bought clothes for them since they were anticipating their arrival. 

Vincent took Sephiroth upstairs and washed up while Didi cooked, per her orders. 

Vincent wrapped the baby in a towel and dried him off. " Do you like it here sofar?" He asked in Wuati.

Sephiroth did a small nod and lips went into a small line while his cheeks puffed out.

He was telling the truth.

Which was a relief. 

Vincent reached to pick up the baby's clothes. 

The three year old sternly shook his head and said "I'm a big boy oyaji!" 

Sephiroth whined that he could put on his own clothes and then preceded to put his pants on backwards. 

One hundred marks for effort.

Vincent picked Sephiroth up out of his pants, switched them around and then set him down so he could pull them back up himself. The pants were black with little Thunderbirds all over them and his shirt had a baby Thunderbird that was saying "nap time?" in Wutai. He smiled softly to himself. He couldn't help but notice how cute his "big boy" looked. Sephiroth SAT down on the floor and rubbed his feet." 

"They hurt" he muttered in Wutai. 

His father sighed, "I know Sefi-chan, but we can rest now okay?" 

Vincent picked him back up and went downstairs to be greeted with Chocobo stew and white rice. 

Sephiroth dug in almost immediately before apologizing. 

Caelum smiled softly and said in Wutai ," You're fine Sephiroth just eat." 

Didi finally asked what it was like running around and hiding and they spoke for about an hour or so. Eventually Sephiroth fell asleep and had to be carried to bed. 

He woke up an hour later, realizing his father was downstairs still. He rubbed his eyes and put his hand back down only to see that the pushie the strange blonde baby gave him was laying next to him.

Said blonde baby walked in, Chocobo or as he called it chobobo in hand. 

They stared at each other for a moment. 

"You lonely?" Cloud asked , continuing to stare. 

Sephiroth pouted and looked away. 

Cloud rolled his eyes and shut the door. Sephiroth was still confused on how the baby got the door open in the first place. 

The baby in blue made a run for it and jumped on to the bed, landing with an "oof".

And that was how Vincent found the two snuggled up in bed the next day. 

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The next kid to arrive had to be on crack.  
Or mako.  
Or both.

The introverted five year old and the introverted four year old had yet to figure it out. 

The Fair family had moved into the basement about a month ago now. And Cloud kept trying to warn his mother that their baby was an idiot. 

But his mom also just told him to be nice and that Zack wasn't stupid he was just hyper. 

A concept both Cloud and Sephiroth will never understand. 

The two had spent their time "doing snuggles" and watching TV or helping out with the crops outside by bringing water to the grown ups and carrying baskets of the lighter vegetables into the house. 

Both babies were quiet, although Cloud was still a bit sassy. And both liked it quiet. 

And then Zack the crackhead baby came and everything became a mess.

The boy was the same age as Sephiroth and the two couldn't be further apart in terms of behavior. 

Zack was loud and bounced around ,often making jokes and trying to make others laugh.

Sephiroth liked meditating with his father and looking after Cloud. 

Sephiroth had been making sure Cloud could get a nice nap when Zack jumped onto the bed all of a sudden asking if the two wanted to play.

It took everything in Cloud not to beat him with Mr. Chochobi , Cloud's Chocobo plushie. 

But strangely enough as of late Zack hasn't been his usual loud and obnoxious self. In fact , he hadn't left the basement in over a week. He doesn't even bother try to help outside either. Which lead to Sephiroth and Cloud standing at the top of the stairs leading to the basement.

"Should we go down?" Cloud asked the older baby.

Sephiroth shrugged, "I mean, if he was dead we would know right?" 

Cloud slowly nodded his head, "right." 

They continued to stare before finally Sephiroth rolled his eyes and sighed and made it down the stairs with Cloud scrambling behind. 

They reached the bottom step to see Zack watching cartoons in bed by himself. He didn't even bother to look up. 

Cloud walked towards the bed, his little ponytail behind his spikes bouncing as he dragged his feet forward. 

"Why are you always down here?" He asked. 

Zack picked his head up to look at Cloud and then looked back at the tv. "Why ya wanna know? 

Cloud shrugged, "Cause you use-ta go upstairs all the time and know ya downstairs all the time." 

Zack sat up as the show went to commerical break. "Y'all don't like me and I don't wanna bother y'all no more." 

The other two babies looked at each other and then looked back at Zack confused. 

Sephiroth finally spoke up " What...we like you Zack?" 

He looked at his feet and played with them, "Really?" 

"Yeah!" Cloud said while climbing up onto the bed , "You're just kinda dumb and might be on that stuff they talk about on tv. The stuff that makes people weird." 

Zack pouted, "I'm not dumb I can count to fifty and I don't even have to use my fingers!" 

Cloud rolled his eyes and hugged Zack till they fell. "We like you Zack you is just really silly and loud. Why would we come get you if we didn't?" 

Zack giggled and then started to cry all of a sudden. 

Which startled both of the other two babies since crying surprisingly isn't common in a house with babies in them. 

Sephiroth came closer and poked Zack's face not really knowing what to do or what to say. "Are you okay?" 

Zack laughed , "Yeah, I'm just very happy!" He smiled brightly before pulling Sephiroth in too. 

Cloud missed being an only child.


	2. Children of the Chocobos

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Two new kids move to the Strife House.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm trying to write their childhood out just to set up the story better! Thank you to those who left kudos and comments and stuff! I'm glad I was able to unleash your inner UwU with Final Fantasy VII babies like I'm a children's animation company in the 1980s.  
> The actual story should start in the next chapter.

Cloud was sick and tired of Sephiroth and Genesis peacocking around each other.

Like really sick of it.

Two boys who were orphaned from Banora came to live with them a couple of months ago. 

Shinra had gone to Banora to look for children to do mako testing on. They did a "True SOLDIER" contest , which was advertised as a fighting competition and the winner would move on to be on the fast track into the SOLDIER program. Really it was Shinra's way of finding strong kids to test on since they failed Project Sephiroth

At least they thought they did. 

Long story short Vincent and Caelum swooped in during the chaos of Banora going up into flames and grabbed the kids, making it look like they died in the fire. 

So now Cloud has to deal with a ten year old Sephiroth and a twelve year old Genesis act like idiots. 

It all started when Cloud and Sephiroth were sitting on the outdoor sofa on the back porch facing the small , barely thriving due to mako poisoning in the soil, farm. Cloud was taking a nap and using Sephiroth as a human pillow per usual , while Sephiroth Made sure Cloud could get a good nap in , per usual. 

Cloud is starting to think Seph sucks at his job. 

He woke up to the sound of two idiots peacocking about which one was better in a sword fight. 

Sephiroth scoffed and declared himself genetically superior by default since his Wutain ancestors are imbedded in his blood.

Genesis went on to scoff even harder and went on some weird monologue about goddesses and motherle- 

Foodle-

Levelles- 

Whatever the crap that long ass book he's always carrying is called. Cloud doesn't know and doesn't care. He's already sick of home schooling and he refused to use his brain beyond telling his mom what 8 x 8 is. 

Next thing ya know the sound of two wooden sticks was heard violently sounding throughout the backyard and it's been like that ever since.

Angeal, the other kid that came with Genesis, is cool though. He would often bake apple pies and make Cloud applesauce.

Cloud loves applesauce. 

Which Cloud was eating right now, during one of fifteen thousand fights that day between Sephiroth and Genesis. 

He's just glad Angeal is comfortable because apparently he won't be able to use Sephiroth as a body pillow for awhile. 

"Ya think they'll get...I dunno tired anytime soon?" Zack asked. It was the summer so he planted himself in front of an old fan that's plugged into an outdoor outlet. His hair was put back into a ponytail and he was wearing his dad's T-shirt with a pair of cargo shorts. 

Cloud looked up from his portable video game or PVG and lifted his head from where it was laying in Angeal's lap to look over at the two fighting.

"... honestly...kinda don't care. " 

Cloud immediately went back to fighting the weird plant creature thing as the red ranger. 

Angeal chuckled, "Cloud do you care about anything?"

Cloud faked like he was thinking. "Hmm...I care about food. I care about not being annoyed too." 

Zack chuckled and Angeal just shook his head. 

In the end Sephiroth won, per usual. 

Genesis pouted, Sephiroth gloated in a very Sephiroth way by smirking and huffing before going back into the house and Cloud still couldn't careless about their petty nonsense.  
\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Cloud is starting to care about their petty nonsense.

It's the day after Cloud's sixteenth birthday. The older the kids got the more hormonal they got and it really didn't help with the whole rivalry thing going on between Gen and Seph.

When they were kids it was mildly annoying but whatever. But the thing is, while the others hormones began to change, so did Cloud's. 

Just less in a hyper-aggressive way and more in a slightly sexual way.

Okay in a hypersexual way.

He had zero plans to be loosing "it" anytime soon. But he would like to enjoy a good ol fashion make out session when the need sprung. 

No pun intended.

And Sephiroth was making that quite hard.

Okay so maybe a pun or two intended. 

Cloud tsk'd and climbed off of Sephiroth after trying to keep his attention for the past fifteen minutes.

The two were sitting in the corner of a small apartment like space attached to the Chocobo barn. Honestly the barn was like a little house on it's own but for some reason there was a tiny empty rectangular room at the end of the barn with a bathroom and half kitchen. 

It's where they normally snuck off to to do things Cloud's father would have a heart attack over. 

"If you mention that stupid fight between you and Gen one more time I'm going to throw up. Like I'll vomit. into your mouth . I will throw up." 

Sephiroth rolled his eyes, "So I'm assuming you don't care about what's been going on between the two of us? " 

Cloud sucked his teeth and rolled his eyes before sounding out a monotone "no". 

"Fine, it's not important anyway." Sephiroth motioned for Cloud to come closer again and Cloud finally started to get what he wanted before a loud knock was heard over where Sephiroth's head was followed by a loud "come out you little shit" in what couldn't be anyone else's but Genesis' voice.

Cloud threw his head back and groaned before standing up and going outside with Sephiroth. 

Genesis stood outside with Angeal and Zack behind him. Angeal seems exhausted and Zack just seems ready for some entertainment. 

"Sephiroth."

"Genesis."

The red head turned to look over at Cloud. 

"Farmer's Virgin."

"Porn addict." 

Angeal sighed, "Gen, why do you keep calling Cloud that?" 

"Oh I'm sorry are you blind?" Genesis started walking towards Cloud. "Cloud's all-" he cleared his throat to start doing a cartoonish country accent as if he couldn't just code switch into his Banora accent, " Oh boy Shinra sent a SOLDIER into town? Why's everybody whisperin' n' sayin' all this lewd stuff? I'm to shy and soft to ever show an ounce of sexuality uwu. What's that? The SOLDIER would like a glass of milk? Well lemme just show him my barn and magically end up naked cause I'm a farm nymph and he just can't help himself. " 

Cloud rolled his eyes and shot daggers at Genesis. "Someone sounds sexually fustrated, did Ang finally get sick of you?" 

The taller of the two crossed his arms, "And what is that supposed to mean? " 

The blonde moved in a little closer, "Maybe if you learned how to properly give head you wouldn't be so consumed by my ability to make men weak in the knees without even a glance." 

Zack cartoonish-ly yelled "ooo", Sephiroth smirked, and Angeal choked back a laugh. 

Genesis scoffed and then looked over at Sephiroth, "So you have your twink fighting your battles now ? "

He shrugged and crossed his arms. "No it's just my twink is extra aggressive."

"Can we discuss how I resent being called someone's twink?" 

Genesis and Sephiroth ignored him and continued to argue. Before they could actually fight Cloud intervened. 

"Holy fuck, Seph if you don't get back in that barn and satisfy my ragging teenage hormones Zack is gonna be my make out partner from now on!"

Zack, who was laying on the ground bored at this point shot up and looked over at Cloud , "Really!?" 

Sephiroth sighed and immediately made his way back into the barn much to Zack's chagrin. 

Before he could make his way inside Angeal called out for him to wait. "Maybe we could all just hang out for a bit, you know...team bonding I guess."

The shortest of the group sighed, "Fine, but y'all are bringing your own blankets,snacks and pillows I only brought enough for the two of us. And I'm still making out with Seph ,I don't really care that y'all are there." 

Angeal pinched Gen before he could say something snarky and the three went into their home to grab the required materials before joining Cloud and Sephiroth in the barn. 

The two were already at it, most likely because Cloud was already far from interested in doing anything else. They had a tv show playing on a DVD inside their portable video player. Angeal and Genesis bundled themselves in one corner and followed Seph and Cloud's example. 

Zack felt like the fifth wheel but at the same time watching Cloud all over Sephiroth like that was admittingly kinda hot. 

Though to be fair, he's had a crush on Cloud for awhile. 

It went on for another fifteen minutes before Seph's watch began to ring and Cloud knowingly groaned. The silverheaded teen chuckled, "I know, I know. But I promised I'd meditate with my father today. I should be back in an hour."

Cloud just groaned louder in response. 

Which just made Seph chuckle again, "Why don't you go play with Zack? He seems more than willing." He picked Cloud up and dropped him over to where Zack was before leaving. 

"Hey."

"Hey." Cloud smiled at him and snuggled a little closer.

Zack was going to try to start a conversation to make things a little less awkward but he didn't have the chance to once Cloud pulled him on top of him to get right to business. 

Okay so yeah Genesis is a petty bitch but...Cloud might actually be a Farmer's Virgin. 

He's real cute, real shy, real quiet, but something about him makes other dudes just wanna jump him in the best way. 

Cloud actually was sent to school instead of homeschooled with the others eventually. The adults were worried about raising suspicion since sofar they've done a good job at making it seem like only the Strifes live in their house. With the overgrown hedges that surround the farm and Caelum's intense demeanor, their neighbors like to stay far away from their house. But it was still a small town and people might start to wonder why they rarely see the Strife's out and about.

At first Cloud was being bullied and Zack had to butt in as his visiting friend from a few town's over and beat the shit out of a few people. Eventually the bullies admitted their strong attraction to Cloud and the weird "fight for Cloud's love" thing had been going on at school ever since. 

Cloud's parents were worried about his self esteem so they made sure to be extra with their comments about Cloud's cuteness. Which is something that they already had been doing since Cloud's birth. 

So Cloud's self esteem was pretty high and stable. Especially since his parents made sure to teach him that how he views himself is the most important.

Cloud broke Zack's train of thought with a whimper and wrapped his arms around his neck. 

They had kissed one other time before. But it was a chaste kiss on their swing set a couple of years ago. Zack's never been tongue on tongue with Cloud before and he ten out ten would like to do it again. 

Eventually the door opened up again and Sephiroth picked Cloud back up and brought him to where they were before. 

"Ya know what's for dinner?" Cloud asked while he got settled again. 

"Yeah my father's making pork belly ramen." Which earned a fist pump from Zack.

Cloud was under Sephiroth this time but it only lasted a moment before Sephiroth practically flew to the other side of the room. Cloud was confused for a moment but then realized he must of heard the footsteps of Cloud's father who is now opening the door. 

"Hey! Dinner's gonna be ready in a bit. " Caelum ruffled Cloud's hair. 

Angeal and Genesis didn't bother to stop cuddling since the adults already knew the nature of their relationship. 

Cloud sighed softly. He really wished he had his own space so he wouldn't have to worry about anyone just walking in whenever they please.


End file.
